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Hiddur May-26-2005
The scene is Oneg Shabbat, a celebration beginning the Jewish Sabbath, in a long-term care facility. A woman leads her peers in the blessing over the candles, which she recalls from many years of habit. In other situations she is often confused, unable to say what day it is. But at this moment she is connected, present and whole. This simple ritual observance enables her and other Jewish elders to find joy and meaning in their lives.
Not all are so lucky. 
“Many Jewish elders who find themselves in eldercare settings don’t have access to Jewish life,” says Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman. “Those who hosted an entire extended family for Seder for decades might find that they don’t even have a Seder to attend.”
As communities focus on their younger constituents, on families and community-centered events, elders often are overlooked, though they are one of American Jewry’s largest demographics. Currently almost a quarter (23%) of America’s Jews are older than 60, and this proportion is slated to swell as the first of the baby boomers join the ranks. During holidays or Shabbat, many elders find themselves far from their support networks, unable to make the long trip to rejoin family or synagogue circles.
Rabbi Friedman is director of Hiddur: The Center for Aging and Judaism at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College in Wyncote, Pennsylvania. Hiddur created a series of self-explanatory, multi-media resources, called Sacred Seasons celebration kits, that enable staff, family or volunteers — Jew and non-Jew alike — to help elders observe and participate in important Jewish celebrations within the walls of their nursing home, assisted living or retirement community. Even if the facility is not focused on Jewish life, its residents can celebrate traditions, and thus recover ties to their personal and communal history as well as strengthen bonds with other community residents.
With the kits, the wonder is in the details.
The Passover celebration kit, for instance, is written in a non-pedagogic, transdenominational and inclusive voice. There are recipes, guides to pronunication and transliteration, and there are printouts, in large-type, of the blessings, four questions, and key parts of the story.
Of course, being Pesach, there are many songs and the CD, if played in the background after the meal, is sure to inspire sing-alongs.
Far from being a palliative, it is hoped the kits will be the start of a reawakening that transforms aging into a season of splendor. Hiddur envisions that:
- Late life is a time of renewed learning and growing
- Elders are a source of wisdom and guidance for the community
- Aging is an opportunity for deepening connection to God, Jewish tradition and the Jewish people.
Sara Paasche-Orlow, a rabbi at Hebrew Senior Life in Boston, reflecting on her experience in using the Oneg Shabbat celebration kit, reports, “You can feel the difference on Friday afternoons; there is now a joyous culture of song and blessing.”
Hiddur (splendor) can be understood as a mitzvah — it is based on the biblical command “grant splendor (hiddur) to the elder” (Leviticus 19:23). As such it involves more than merely caring for an elder’s physical well being; it demands that we enable elders to forge lives of dignity, celebration and meaning. The Center, under Friedman’s direction, has plans to develop more Sacred Seasons celebration kits, as well as spiritual resources for use by homebound elders.
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Hiddur has chosen a web-based distribution method for Sacred Seasons materials in order to maximize their reach and accessibility. There’s no cost to download the kits, and receiving the CD or print materials incurs only a nominal cost, to cover the costs of mailing.
Each kit comes with step-by-step instructions for setting up and leading the celebration, background on the holidays, a CD recording of songs and blessings with chord sheets, and large-type handouts for participants — making it easy to create a meaningful celebration. Volunteers and professional staff don’t need any knowledge of Hebrew language, nor even experience with Jewish ritual. The kits also come with supplemental readings, transliteration guides, and information on where to obtain ritual items.
You can find out more about current or future Sacred Seasons offerings, or obtain portions of the celebration kits to download and print, by visiting the website, www.sacredseasons.org, or by email at sacredseasons@rrc.edu or by telephone at (215) 576-0800.
For questions about the Center, visit Hiddur’s website, www.hiddur.org or email Rabbi Dayle Friedman, dfriedman@rrc.edu.
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